your villain

i am not who i pretend to be.
you want me perfect?
well i can’t be that- so don’t lose sleep.
i am not the skin that i wear.
hit me, cut me, watch me bleed,
you just want me to live in despair.
unruly, i won’t roll over, i won’t comply,
just a stubborn son of a bitch…
always be the one you vilify.

natural selection.

down but not out, up within this pocket of immediate joy.
i do not pretend anything, yet everything you see-
blue is yellow, yellow is green.
here enjoy this fantastic hit with me.
shh, let it be, relax and be free.
like always was, and never wasn’t… the past is now and the future is present,
orange slushie… purple ice-
brought to you by your favorite vice…

magic night

The night that seems shrouded in discovery,
Without a sound, a subtle look… your lips reach out to mine…
like fireworks that ignite the dark our bodies collide.

The sex is like touching the lips of a god, Im in awe…
engulfed in sexual ecstasy an excitement, we take it higher.

Inhale these drugs and become my queen, its so obscene,
the things we do in between these sheets.

Soaked in sweat and channeling ancient energy,
I will never forget that one night, just you and me.

madness

Infinite madness, unlimited sadness; I feel the pull on me towards darkness, but your grip anchors me to the now.

I fear the future because I am ashamed of the past- why does this happy feeling pass? Why won’t these drugs last?

I feel your lips on my neck and I get chills, I wonder if these nights aren’t just cheap thrills. What is the deal?

Cut me deep, watch me bleed. I won’t give up on this, on us, we can make it if we will it. Feel it!

Damn it, I don’t care if it’s right or wrong- baby be strong and hold on, this is life or death, and I won’t lose all I have left…

night music.

Headphones on, music playing. Bass beating, highs hitting.
Head bobbing, body swaying to the beat. Chair dancing.
Memories flow, feelings bubble from deep within. Chills.
Vapor flows in front of the screen, like the haze in a dream.
Forty past four in the morning, late night music therapy.

wish

Sometimes, they come true…

I wish… So much, but most of all I wish I could be what everyone needs me to be, a rock, a wall, a lover and a fighter. Protector and deflector, truth in the dark.. And light in the shade. Protection from sin and sand, the tortures of the land- but flesh and frail bones is all I can be… Yet maybe, its all anyone needs…

blog is back

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don’t embrace trouble; that’s as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it.

~Oliver Wendell Holmes

midnight

This is a new song and video from Coldplay, it is new Coldplay…a lot different from their old stuff I think- and a fantastic song and video. Enjoy…

compulsively creative

I have switched back to an older version (theme) of insomniak- I really love this one as it has a lot of cool features, like the mini blog in the sidebar. I really need to start writing daily again, so I hope you all enjoy my musings. As usual I will post poems, short stories, photos and images of my art- but I will also start posting short updates about my life in general. I think it is important to reflect on ones life, and what better way to do that then with the typed word and openly for otehr to read… I’d like to say I’m an open book, but thats not true- though I will try to be a transparent as possible.

Please feel free to send me questions that you may have… I give good advice believe it or not, so I am here to help you if your in a dark place as I have been in many myself: or maybe you just want to share something special that happened to you… and maybe I will share your story in one of my posts. Life is beautiful friends, live it to the fullest because you only get one shot and no misses. IO will leave you with a quote:

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.

~William Shakespeare

universal flow

Synergistic flow as I got forward slow without a place set, just traveling on a whim without a care- rare is it these chances of peace, leased time from the universe to explore all kind and pay no mind to those who try and detour.

Magical and almost divine, listening to the soft melodic wind chime on metal and glass- alas, i reach no where and feel complete, worry free but worried still, will I get this chance again: random chances, subtle dances.

stolen

From where I stood to you I could not be seen; just another lost soul roaming the streets. From afar- your beauty still caught my eye and made me smile, and made my heart flutter. If I would approach you I was sure to stutter, and my words would come out mumble jumbled.

Skip over the street, stumbling and knees weak. I slide along side of you, discreet and out of your view. You turn around and spot me there, frozen- and my gaze locked on your eyes. Emerald green with a sparkle from the nights moon, a temptress that within me made my heart swoon.

Within a beat of my heart, now at pace with each passing second quickened, inches from me you took up presence. Whispers in my ear in a tongue unknown to I, yet with each poetic word and understanding took hold within my mind. The hairs on the nape of my neck stood alert as with ancient precision sharp fangs sunk into my flesh and began to steal away my life blood.

Oh merciful beautiful angelic beast of the night, you have left me but only once as I once was yet renewed as something even more than I ever was in total. Deaths embrace holds tight as I now lurk in the same shadows where I saw you that fateful night, a never ending process to maintain this half life I live in your image, yet despair behind thick curtains in dark rooms.

A thief of life, living in death…

lead astray

Dark paths can lead to unknown places that may be crowded with evil faces. Down these dark paths answers may lie to questions kept deep inside; risky to travel, but perhaps worth a try. A blunder once made by I, who followed a dark witch by the hand down such a path, and she bled my heart dry.

in the slipstream

In the slipstream of life we all flow at a pace that is proportional to the actions we make, the paths that we take- the lies we tell, or the truths we fake. Friendships, relationships- may slow or speed our trip, but once at journey’s end and the slipstream set us free we can only hope to be remembered by how we wanted to be.

apology, to my shooting star…

I’m sorry for the lies I told that may not have been true. I’m sorry for the way I am sometimes, I probably don’t deserve you. I still think your a star, and you deserve all you want and desire- and maybe one day I can light your fire. This is real, the only way I can truly speak, otherwise I sound like a fool and come off weak- but I am strong, and a rock you can lean on when you need to-and maybe I just need someone like you.

sinners lament…

The power of Sin, it’s weight too heavy too bear…

The pitch of the night made sight near impossible and more improbable the hope to find what I had lost; thus I shall have to pay the cost for such a blunder, loneliness and torture in the deep under, were he slumbers… His power over all an eternal struggle, one I could not fight nor win… for far too great was my Sin.